Prodigal

As I left another day’s work, I quickly snapped this photo.

So beautiful, yet so tormented.

A bit like every human being I’ve ever met. All fighting our own inner demons on some level.

I love this song for the hope it provides to people who (like me) once deviated from their path. I used to be (15 + years ago now!) part of the party scene. Smoking and drinking until stupid o’clock, walking out of the club and it’s daylight type nights. NOTHING there that I miss. One part of the song goes like this:

There will be nights, when you hear whispers
Of the life you once knew, don’t let it linger
‘Cause there’s a grace that falls upon you
Don’t you forget
In the places your weak
He is very strong
Don’t ever believe “you don’t deserve love”
The same God that protects you when you’re lost and alone
Is the very same God that is calling you home

But today,I’m hearing whispers.

I’ve heard them all day.

Remembering the smell of the pubs and can almost make out the sound of the noise. The sounds of laughter and abandon. Completele carelessness. Of complete confidence in not caring about anyone but myself. And how exhilirating the feeling was. But the memories make me feel ill. Complete recklessness more adequately describes the effect my actions had on the people who love me. A deep sadness and loathing overcomes me and my throat closes in with shame.

No tears today.

Today I’m hurrying away from the memories, leaving them far behind, and not looking back.

It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found. – Luke 15:32

I’m quieting the torment and looking for the beautiful.

I hope this message reaches someone else who needs to hear it today.